Virtual Drunk

Flash game from some sort of Swiss German drinking festival here. Use the arrow keys to control your drunkard.

Ain’t No Burn Like a Boiler Room Burn

Interesting article in Bambi Francisco of CBSMarketwatch’s regular email. It seems despite the dot.bang people are still up for getting burned.

SAN FRANCISCO (CBS.MW) – Sometimes, you do what you can to stay afloat.As many market watchers have already observed, there are companies out there that appear to be promising candidates in a hot business area, but make their money off of something entirely non-related.

Some investors may have heard of a company called Mace Security International, whose shares traded to a recent high of $6.68 in mid-June after trading below $2 earlier this year. The stock went gangbusters because the company’s been touting its anti-terrorist, surveillance security products.

One would think Mace housed a number of technologists in cubicles. Yet those techies weren’t techies at all, unless washing cars requires an engineering degree. Apparently, Mace generated 85 percent of its sales this year from being a car wash.

Mace shares eventually got washed up a bit as its true colors were exposed. Let’s face it, being a car wash isn’t a competitive advantage for a security company. (Now, if they were impersonating a car wash but were really a security company — I’d say that was impressive.)

But here’s what we can learn from Mace. Sometimes you have to be creative if you want to stay in business.

PalmOne Sings to Mac Choir

PalmOne, official provider of PDAs to Renaissance Chambara, has announced a portal for Mac users. Admittedly the content is as sparse as a supermodels buffet at the moment, but I have hopes that it will get better. If they want this to happen at a rate of knots they can throw a fat roll of benjamins at me: gedcarroll at mac.com.

SourceNext: mad, bad or dangerous?

Crazy Japanese software company makes craz-ey adverts, seriously check these out. Maximum kudos to Ashlee Vance at The Register for bringing this to a Western audience.

Revolution with a spray-can

If you live in London or have been to Shoreditch you’ve probably came across the grafitti art of Banksy. Talent, anger, political statement and a black sense of humour via Andy Warhol to create provocative stencil art.

In the interest of spreading the revoluton here is Banksy’s guide to creating creative grafitti:

A guide to cutting stencils– First off, stencil anything. If you wait for the perfect idea you will be waiting for ever. Cleverness is never as entertaining as blatant stupidity, failure and public humiliation

– Obtain a fucking sharp knife. Blunt knives result in fluffy pictures and make the whole process long and boring. Snap off blades of British steel are best.

– Draw your artwork on paper, glue onto some card then cut straight through the both. Acetate is apparently quite good but any sort of free cardboard is okay. Stiff 1mm to 1.5mm board is ideal.

– Get a small roll of gaffa tape, pre-tear small strips and stick them on your shirt inside your coat.

– Find a suitable piece of card to act as a folder. For instance when using red paint cut the stencil into the bottom of a pizza box so when you get paint all over your fingers its not so suspicious.

– Leave the house before you find something worth staying in for.

– Spray the paint sparingly onto the stencil from a distance of 8 inches.

– If you’re in a place with lots of security cameras wear a hood, move around the city quickly and act like a sad old drunk if you attract attention.

– Be aware that going on a major mission totally drunk out of your head will result in some truly spectacular artwork and at least one night in the cells.

– When explaining yourself to the Police its worth being as reasonable as possible. Graffiti writers are not real villains. I am always reminded of this by real villains who consider the idea of breaking in someplace, not stealing anything and then leaving behind a painting of your name in four foot high letters the most retarded thing they ever heard of.

– Remember crime against property is not real crime. People look at an oil painting and admire the use of brushstrokes to convey meaning. People look at a graffiti painting and admire the use of a drainpipe to gain access.

– The time of getting fame for your name on its own is over. Artwork that is only about wanting to be famous will never make you famous. Any fame is a bi-product of making something that means something. You don’t go to a restaurant and order a meal because you want to have a shit.